


The Great Bi Debate

by xslytherclawx



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (well except Otabek), F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gay Otabek Altin, Gen, M/M, Post-Canon, everyone is bi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 19:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16290029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: If there's one thing Yuri Plisetsky knows about Isabella Yang after years of friendship, it's that she has terrible taste in men. He does, however, have to hand it to her – she has great taste in women.-(or: the bi squad [+otabek] argues about which celebrities are hottest)





	The Great Bi Debate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoodbyeBlueMonday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodbyeBlueMonday/gifts).



> I have no idea when or where this takes place, only probably at a hotel bar (definitely at a bar of some sort), sometime after Otabek and Yuri get together, and JJ and Isabella get married, but before Yuri and JJ actually become friends (or maybe they are friends and this is just how Yuri treats half of his friends. I didn't think too much on it, honestly)

Yuri doesn’t anticipate being cornered at the bar by Isabella and her dumbass husband, but he indulges them because it’s Isabella. Besides, her dumbass husband thinks he’s Otabek’s best friend. Otabek, for some reason, indulges the dumbass in this.

“Bella!” Yuri greets. “Great to see you!”

They hug, and he begrudgingly shakes her dumbass husband’s hand.

“Yuri,” Isabella says urgently. “You need to settle a debate JJ and I have been having.”

“Oh, come on, Bells,” JJ says, rolling his eyes. “We don’t need to get him involved.”

“You’re just afraid he’ll side with me,” Isabella teases, poking him (hopefully hard, but realistically, Yuri knows, gently) in the side.

The dumbass grumbles, and Isabella grins. “So the question was – and sorry, Otabek, but this won’t interest you.”

“Is it about girls?” Yuri asks, suddenly interested. While Bella generally has shit taste in guys (see Exhibit A: Jean-Jackass Leroy, who Isabella apparently _willingly married)_ , they do generally agree where girls are concerned.

“It is,” Isabella agrees, and then orders a Merlot from the bar in the same breath because she’s just that cool. “You want something, JJ, babe?” she asks as she takes her drink from the bartender.

“A white russian, please,” he orders, and Yuri snorts into his vodka cranberry. Otabek only sips at his tom collins, and those who don’t know him well wouldn’t see the way the corners of his lips turn up just slightly in the smallest hint of a smile, but Yuri does.

Good. His boyfriend is still on his side.

JJ gets his drink and pulls a face at it. “What’s in this?”

“It’s kahlua, vodka, and cream, babe,” Isabella says.

“Who would drink that?” he asks. He takes an experimental sip and pulls a face. “Nope. Not doing it.” He sets it on the bar and flags down the bartender. “Can I have a light beer, please? Whatever you’ve got.”

Once he has that, he turns to Yuri. “Okay, so you’re a guy. You _have_ to agree with me. I mean – look at Bella. You know I have good taste.”

“She has good taste, too,” Yuri says, because he’s not going to give Jean-Jackass the satisfaction of agreeing with him. “Let’s hear it.”

“Okay,” Isabella says. She sips at her Merlot. “We were watching _Jennifer’s Body_ last night.”

“The best movie,” Yuri says. “Continue.”

“So – okay, Megan Fox is hot, everyone knows that, but JJ says she’s the hottest woman alive – except for me, of course. And I just feel like that’s sort of – there are _so many_ hot women, and Megan Fox kind of… looks like she came out of some perfect girl factory.”

“So Bella,” JJ says, “she says if she were given a free pass for any woman – she’d pick Gal Gadot. You know. Wonder Woman.”

“I know who Gal Gadot is,” Yuri says. He looks to Otabek, who looks bored, and Yuri steals a sip out of his drink just to rile him up a little.

“And you agree with me, right?” Isabella asks. “Gal Gadot is so much hotter than Megan Fox. I mean, her _arms..._ ”

“Oh, come on, babe, he’s a _man._ Maybe _women_ like Gal Gadot more, because she’s all – fit and everything, but _Megan Fox…”_

Yuri hums. They’re both gorgeous, and there’s no denying that. He sips at his vodka cran, aware that they’re waiting on him to answer, and kind of basking in the attention. “They’re both hot,” Yuri says after a minute. “But I have to agree with Isabella – Gal Gadot. Though I’m not as focused on her arms. I still think she’s hotter.”

JJ pouts. “How do I know you’re not just saying that because it’s Bella, and you don’t ever like agreeing with me?”

“Well,” Yuri says, innocently as he can manage. “Bella _does_ have terrible taste in men. I mean – she thinks _you’re_ more attractive than _Otabek,_ which is _laughable_. So – who’re two men who you disagree who’s hotter? You don’t even have to tell me who likes who.”

“Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth,” Bella supplies immediately.

“Chris Hemsworth,” Yuri says without even needing to think. He notices JJ gloat and Isabella pout – well, Bella really does have shit taste in men.

“Hold on,” Otabek says, “you _don’t_ think Chris Evans is hotter than Chris Hemsworth?”

Yuri snorts. “Uh, no? Have you _seen_ Chris Hemsworth?”

“Have _you_ seen Chris _Evans_ , Yura?” Otabek asks.

Isabella grins. “At least Otabek’s on my side,” she says.

“I’ve seen Chris Evans,” Yuri says. “He’s hot – but he’s not as hot as Chris Hemsworth.”

“This is ridiculous,” Otabek says, and he pulls out his phone and shoots off a text.

“Who are you texting?” A brief moment of horror sets in. “Oh, no, _not_ the old men!”

“Of course not,” Otabek says, “all they’d talk about is each other. I texted Mila.”

“Mila? That hag?” Yuri asks. “Might as well text Chulanont.”

“We’d never get rid of him,” Otabek says. “Mila is the safest option.”

Yuri heaves a sigh and knows he’s being melodramatic. “ _Fine.”_

They talk about their lives and skating while they wait for Mila to show up as a tiebreaker, and Bella gushes about how, “a movie with Gal Gadot and Chris Evans – especially with a beard – would just be so perfect, don’t you think?” (no one agrees, and JJ starts on about Megan Fox again).

“Looks like I’ve been missing the real party,” Mila says as she sidles up to the bar and orders a vodka neat. “What can I help you with?”

“You’re bi,” Otabek said.

Mila grins. “What was the first clue?”

“We need you to help settle a disagreement,” Isabella says. “So – we’re trying to decide between two of the Chrises.”

“Chrises?” Mila asks. “Which ones? Not Giacometti. I’m not playing anything he’s involved in.”

Yuri pulls a face. _“Fuck,_ no, you hag! Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans. From – Avengers.”

“Oh, is that all?” Mila asks. “Chris Evans, obviously.”

Yuri nearly smashes his vodka cranberry on the ground. “Oh, fuck you, hag,” he spits instead. “How am I the only one agreeing with _Leroy_ over here that Hemsworth is the obvious winner?”

“Well,” Mila begins, “I know Sara likes Thor – but she’s a lesbian, so I don’t think she counts for that. Not if we’re talking about who’s _hotter.”_

“We are,” Bella says. “JJ’s just upset because he thinks that means I like pretty boys.”

Yuri snorts and looks to Otabek. “Well?”

“God, Yura, I like Chris Evans. But you know that I _love_ you.”

Yuri turns to the bartender to order another vodka cranberry so that no one sees him blush. He overhears Bella assuring JJ that _he’s_ pretty and he texts Otabek a vomit emoji.

Otabek leans in and kisses his cheek. “For what it’s worth,” Otabek says, “I think Chris Hemsworth is hot, too. Just – not hotter than Chris Evans. And – neither of them measure up to you.”

“Save it for the bedroom, Altin,” Yuri says, though his heart is pounding out of his chest and he wants little more than to grab Otabek and kiss him.

“Oh,” Otabek whispers into his ear. “Don’t worry – I intend to.”

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't posted a YOI fic since April, but Rose asked for this, so I said if I could get it done quickly and avoid letting it get out of hand (see: all of my HP fics, currently, which were all intended to be oneshots, including two I haven't even started posting yet), I'd do it. And I succeeded!


End file.
